Confidence is a Product of Learning
"When playing basketball at recess, a student grabbed rebound after rebound. Two teachers were observing the game, and one commented to the other; do you see that kid get all the rebounds? He's the smallest one playing. The second teacher replied that he does that because he doesn't know he's short." As it turns out, this young boy was new to this elementary school, attending "city school" for the first time from a one-room country school. What excited this young boy was that he was playing with what appeared to be a brand-new basketball. At his country school, the ball was pretty worn out. And he loved playing basketball!
These rural schools had one teacher teaching all grades, first through high school, with no kindergarten. Each class had six to ten students, if they were lucky to be that big, drawn from the local farming community.
At his one-room country school, part of the older students' daily routine was to teach and look out for the younger ones. The teacher would take the Juniors and Seniors aside every morning and give them their lesson plans, including what subjects they would teach and to which grades or students. As you would expect, not every older student was good at teaching, nor was every younger student proficient at learning. However, this process built confidence for all, regardless of age or grade. This confidence became even more substantial at recess, where kids of all ages played together under the teacher's watchful eye. The Seniors always picked the games to play and put kids on each team to achieve a balanced and fair competition.
Like all the country school students, this boy learned to be confident as he played and studied with the other students. In fact, on picture day, his hair had gotten messed up, and he couldn't comb it as his mother had. One of the older boys took him aside, combed his hair, and prepped him, getting his hair looking good. When his pictures arrived, even his mother was surprised at his hair as she knew it was going to be a mess. These kinds of support are what the school brought out, students looking after each other, helping to build confidence in every student, as they knew they were never alone.
Because of how the schooling was structured, supporting each other was a natural outcome. Older kids teach younger kids, all under the watchful eye of a trained teacher. It would be similar to a child growing up in a big family. The elders learn how to care for others, and younger ones follow in their elders' footsteps, feeling confident they are not alone. A child in a big family has experiences that a smaller family has difficulty duplicating.
Teacher's observation: "He's the smallest one playing... He doesn't know he's short."
So what makes these two teachers' comments so interesting?
Each of us has had unique experiences as we have grown up, and the people who have taught us, our teachers, have had a front-row seat. More importantly, the village surrounding us is involved in our development process. The young boy in this story grew up in a much simpler world than today. His family and school were a natural extension of his village, helping him grow and prosper.
The students today are gifted in many ways, yet lacking. They have more information than ever; this young boy in the story had five-year-old encyclopedias that they used for their research. Today computers in schools are a requirement while providing information on current events, often while they are happening. Social development comes from social media apps, not one-room schoolhouses, and playgrounds.
With this being the graduation season, find a young person, hug them, and talk to them. Ask questions, listen to their answers, and ask more questions. Talk with them, not to them, have a two-way conversation. I, for one, am deeply impressed with the students of today.
Oh, and if you have a chance to meet one of your kid’s teachers, give them a hug and and say thank you for all they do!
"Helping others find their compass." by Gene
Reference material on confidence and self-esteem:
1. https://www.nutritionist-resource.org.uk/articles/confidence.html
2. Definitions: What affects the self-confidence of a child?
"Like many aspects of child development, self-esteem is a product of interacting forces often described as nature and nurture. Children's biological strengths and weaknesses (nature) influence their developing self-esteem, but so too do their interactions with family and the social environment (nurture)."