Finding Happiness

I'm happy, thank you, is what most will quickly say when asked, even though they are not! So why do people say they are? Why not be honest and tell the truth? Exposure might be painful, but then you can start working on your happiness level, right? 

Just google "happiness," and you will find many answers, such as; how to be happy, how to live happily, the meaning of life, how to take control, what science says, and what self-worth is. These answers make me slap my head and say these nearly all miss the point, at least in my view, especially after reading the long and multiple-pointed process they want you to follow. I believe happiness is 100% driven by the individual, you or me! It isn't some physical thing you need to do; it's a mental or emotional process of thinking that you control. It's about how we are doing against our expectations.

Wikipedia defines happiness as positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy in mental or emotional states. To help frame your thinking, I offer a quote and a monologue to make it more apparent how personal your actions should be. 

Quote:

Happiness stands out in life; sometimes, you need to take inventory of things to regain it; it's always there if you want it!

Monologue/Soliloquy:

In the movie "All I Wish," Liza Lapira plays the role of "Daria" - She talks for 1 minute (42:05 to 43:00), sitting on a stool in the dark, all alone.

"Wishes are a funny thing. When you wish for something you are announcing to the universe that there is a hole in you that needs to be filled, and the more wishes that you make the more holes you open up. There was a time in my life when I was full of holes (she sighs) I wished for a lot of things. So this is what I did. I stopped wishing and started saying thank you for the things that I already had. I started with the big things like my friends, my family, my hair, and there were also little things like a smile from a stranger, a strong cup of coffee, not hitting one red light on my way home. Pretty soon I was so full of gratitude there wasn't any room for holes. I'd crowded them all out. I don't make birthday wishes. I want what I got!"

So why am I writing about this? If you are happy with yourself, you will think and act differently. You will greet people with joy and conversation. You will be living life differently, with an open heart and mind. You will be communicating differently; your aura will precede you! You will be more interested in the person talking to you than in telling them about yourself. You will look outward and enjoy life at a higher level. Every day will be a new day filled with discovery and adventure. I like being around happy people!

Before covid, I did a lot of networking in small and large groups. I was attracted to those in the networking group who were happy with themselves. There would be an aura about them. They were most interested in the other person versus themselves. You could ask them questions; they would respond and then ask questions. They were never monopolizing the conversation. You quickly realized that these people weren't playing a game. They were in different places, personally and professionally. The first time this happened, I quietly said, "Wow," I want to be like them!" Is it personal confidence, an act? What was it? 

Tony Robbins tells the story about being on a plane where they announced having free movies. It was a long flight, and this was certain to break the monotony. But, unfortunately, the system stopped working an hour or so into the film. People instantly became angry and stayed that way for the rest of the flight. The moral of this little story is much the same as in the movie "All I Wish." We allow our happiness to be the product of the actions of others. We can control our happiness!

To get your aura on, find new reference points. For example, go to a public place, and people watch. Grocery stores, shopping centers, and your local Target stores are great places to visit. You will quickly discover that others have serious issues just like you, maybe even worse. However, you will see people coping with their problems; many will be exhibiting the traits of a happy person. In addition, you may see creative solutions to complex issues or situations where several people are working together. 

The bottom line secret is to practice this process for a day, week, or month. They say it takes 21 days to change a habit, so find new reference points for the next 21 days. And while you are on this journey, find a friend or two to talk to about your discoveries. You may very well be on your way to helping others be happier.

Happy aura shopping!